If we were to choose a theme for your tenth month – it would be moving. On more than one account really. We, as a family, moved house from Merritt Place to Tiffin Place. But also you have started moving and exploring more than ever. Not only are you crawling on all fours and getting around quite quickly – much to your brother’s annoyance. But, you are more investigatory and have started pulling yourself up and doing that old furniature crawling thing that all babies do soon before they start walking.
It has been a busy month to say the least. You had your first overnight visit at Granny and Grandpa’s house – three whole nights to be exact. You were going to stay for four, but on the third night Granny noticed that you were not laughing as much, nor were you smiling. You became a bit clingy and you started looking at the door regularly as if you expected Dad or I or both of us to walk through at any moment. Granny did say, though, that you were much comforted by Corbin – that your face lite up everytime he came in the room. None the less, Aunti Ros drove you home after three nights and you moved in to your new house one day before your brother.
You have reached that pinacle point of babyhood. I don’t want to let you go but I can see that you are on the verge of walking and with that gaining a new streak of independence. In many ways I’m excited for you to get there and, yet, I look at you and part of me wants to keep you here in this sweet place of babyhood forever. I adore your puffy cheeks and smooth skin and although I want you to sleep through the night, I admit that a part of me still likes the quiet we have together in the middle of the night. It is only a couple of weeks – give or take – before you start going to daycare each morning with Corbin. This is something I’ve chosen – my month of freedom, my time to write and prepare myself and our family for my return to work. And yet, there is a big part of me that is so sad to let you go because I know that this is the beginning of growing up for you.
On moving day, I hugged Cricket; the woman who lived in our house for 25 years before us. She is a woman much like me who raised her children, loved her family and created a home for each of those she loved to feel safe, secure and happy in. Her daughter, Emily, left us a note to tell us how wonderful this house is and how much we will like living here. I believe her. I feel settled already – after only two weeks – and when I pass our old house on Merritt it looks foreign and strange to me. Cricket had a hard time letting go of this house and as I hugged her I saw myself in her size 7’s. I saw myself 25 years later, selling a house that had emptied by 50% and I saw your Dad and I moving on to the next stage of our lives. That is how quickly it will happen. And so, with these words I vow to try and make each moment count – even the ones that make me want to pull my hair out and lock myself in the bathroom. You and your brother will be making your way into the world faster than I will be ready to let you go. And so, I will take the month before I go to work to prepare for not just the next month or two or the next year, but for the next 25 years. I will prepare myself to watch you grow.